'BACK TO BASICS' - Saturday, June 11, 2011, By Roland Stoy, The Daily Reporter, Photo by Roland Stoy

OVID TOWNSHIP - From Chicago, Detroit, Fort Wayne and Kalamazoo they came last Saturday to Lockwood Community Church, where the Monroe Street Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) Group of Coldwater hosted a "Back to Basics" program on the 12 Steps.

The guest was Wally P., who made a decision to carry the message to others 22 years ago in the home of the late Dr. Robert Smith, who along with Bill Wilson was a co-founder of AA in 1935.

Wally, anonymous here due to AA tradition, said he had traveled to the home of Smith in Akron "on a whim," and found himself with a people, each with 40 (or more) years of sobriety. There he discovered AA meetings as they were held in the 1940s. This particular meeting happened once a year.

"I had a conversion and Dr. Bob's living room," he said. "I had been divinely directed to be at that place at that time. . . That's when I decided to carry the message for the rest of my life."

He came away with a commitment to research "beginners' meetings" that took problem drinkers through the steps in four one-hour sessions, as they came into the program.

"In the process, they discovered a God of their understanding and a new way of living based on the guidelines of trust God, clean house and help others," Wally said.

Welcoming all to the "1946 re-enactment" meeting, he gave an overview and said the program is "a spiritual way of life" that begins with the first step, which is surrender, with acceptance of "powerlessness" over alcohol.

The next session dealt with steps to, three and four and the necessity of grasping the concept of a "higher power," before taking a moral inventory of the self along the lines of a business ledger with assets and liabilities.

Session three, steps five through nine, was putting the program into action: Acknowledging wrongs, dealing with character defects, and be willing to have God remove them before going on to make amends to people where ever necessary.

"This is the payoff. This is what it is all about," said Wally as he went into session four. "Among the blessings are that we can watch people grow spiritually before our very eyes."

Going over steps 10, 11 and 12, he said people can begin to live lives of honesty, purity, unselfishness and love.

"There is security in recovery, and helping and working with others," Wally said.

He conducted another session on Sunday afternoon, specifically on Step 11 (titled), "How to Listen to God."

Not everyone in the crowd was alcoholic or of some other addiction.

Richard Bowerman was there because he was part of the jail ministry in Branch County and in Angola.

Noting that if alcohol and drugs are not the primary reason people are in jail, he said they are often a major contributing factor.

"I'm just here to find out anything that will help me get through to the guys in jail," he said.

Wally said an "angel on the ground" got through to him many years ago and put them on the path that led him to Smith's house.

He came back from the Vietnam War addicted to opiates, and for years went from city to city, drug to drug. He said he could leave drugs alone, but alcohol ruled him.

"Alcohol kicked my (behind)," he said.

Wally has a bachelor's degree in research chemistry and a masters in statistics, but the statistic that matters most to him is that he is shared "Back to Basics" with 500,000 people, and estimates 300,000 people are alive (today) because of it.

Wally thanked the crowd of over 100 profusely Saturday as he wrapped up that day. "You are my inspiration," he said. "You make all of this worthwhile."

We, in our turn, sought the same escape with all the desperation of drowning men. AA, pg. 28

Addicts are like drowning men and women. If we don't find some way of keeping our heads above water, we are going to drown and die. So we look for some kind of power to keep us afloat. We notice some logs floating on the surface. These logs look like they're capable of keeping our heads above water, but when we reach for one of these logs we find that they are wet and slippery and we can only hold on for maybe a day, a week, a month, a year, 5 years, 10 years, but at some point we slip and start drowning again.

Most of us have been unwilling to admit we were real alcoholics (addicts). No person likes to think he is bodily and mentally different from his fellows. Therefore, it is not surprising that our drinking (using) careers have been characterized by countless vain attempts to prove we could drink (use) like other people. The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking (using) is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker (user). The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death. A.A. pg 30

The analogy of "logs" to illustrate the many countless vain attempts that thousands of alcoholics and addicts have tried to prove that somehow, someday, we will control and enjoy our drinking, using or acting-out behaviours like ordinary people has proven useful when speaking to suffering addicts in detox, treatment centers, and meetings.

Here is a list of "logs" tested by the experience of thousands of chronic relapsers who have tried them and failed at finding the necessary power to keep sober, clean and free from all addictive, obsessive/compulsive behaviours. Anyone could increase the list.

• Frothy emotional appeals seldom suffice. (interventions, nice guy/bad guy tactics, reading poetry i.e. "The Man in the Glass", Yesterday, Today & Tomorrow) A.A. pg xxviii
• Fear (war stories, drunk/drug-a-logs, warning of a doctor) sobered me for a bit A.A. pg 8
• . . .if a doctor is honest with himself he must sometimes feel his own inadequacy. . .something more than human power is needed A.A. pg xxix
• . . .felt his only hope would be through what we then called moral psychology (discussion groups) and we doubted if even that would have any effect A.A. pg xxxi
• Why don't you try beer and wine (substitution)? Lay off the hard stuff A.A. pg 20
• I saw that will power and self-knowledge would not help in those strange mental blank spots A.A. pg 42
• Drink like a gentlemen (controlled drinking) or quit A.A. pg 20
• I should think he'd stop for her sake (falling in love) A.A. pg 20
• It would all end with heart failure during delirium tremens or I would develop a wet brain, perhaps within a year (ill health, warning of a doctor) A.A. pg 7
• We are unable at certain times to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of suffering and humiliation (Consequences" i.e. "Remember when", "Think, think, think through the drink!", "Play the tape all the way through.") of even a week or month ago. A.A. pg 24
• . . .he believed he had acquired such a profound knowledge of the inner workings of his mind (self-knowledge, intelligence) and its hidden springs that relapse was unthinkable. Nevertheless, he was drunk in a short time. A.A. pg 26
• It was the end of a perfect day (good times), not a cloud on the horizon A.A. pg. 41
• Some will be drunk the day after making their resolutions (oaths, commitments, promises, etc.), most of them within a few weeks. A.A. pg 34
• I (Dr. Jung) (psychiatrists,therapists, doctors) have never been successful with an alcoholic of your description. A.A. pg 27
• . . .after all, he was a good church member. This hope, however, was destroyed by the doctor's telling him that while his religious convictions were very good (religious belief), in his case they did not spell the necessary vital spiritual experience. A.A. pg.27
• The physician (Dr. Bob) had repeatedly tried spiritual means (prayer and church) to resolve his alcoholic dilemma but had failed. A.A. pg xvi
• . . .he remained bone dry for 25 years. . .Then he fell victim to a belief which practically every alcoholic (addict) has--that after long period of sobriety (time, medallions, chips, sobriety birthdays) and self-discipline had qualified him to drink as other men. . .in two months he was in a hospital. . .and was dead within four years. A.A. pg. 32-33
• Here are some of the methods we have tried: Drinking beer (substitution) only, limiting the number of drinks (amount of drugs), never drinking (using) alone, never drinking (using) in the morning, drinking only at home, never having it in the house, never drinking (using) during business hours, drinking only at parties (controlled use), switching from scotch to brandy, drinking only natural wines (substitution), agreeing to resign if ever drunk on the job (reputation), taking a trip, not taking a trip (change of environment, geographical cure), swearing off forever (oaths and resolutions), taking more physical exercise, reading inspirational books, going to health farms and sanitariums, accepting voluntary commitment to asylums (detox and treatment centres) A.A. pg 31
• He knew he faced another trip to the asylum if he kept on. Moreover, he would lose his family for whom he had deep affection. Yet he was drunk (high) again (consequences, good reasons to quit). A.A. pg 35-36
• Our sound reasoning failed to hold us in check. (Just think through the drink) A.A. pg 37
• Meeting Slogans: "Keep coming back" (Just don't drink and go to meetings) i.e. 90 meetings in 90 days
• In our belief any scheme of combating alcoholism (addiction) which proposes to shield the sick man from temptation is doomed to failure. If the alcoholic tries to shield himself he may succeed for a time, but usually winds up with a bigger explosion than ever. We have tried these methods (Trigger lists, avoidance of people, places and things). These attempts to do the impossible have always failed. A.A. pg 101
• Once more: The alcoholic at certain times has no effective mental defense against the first drink. Except in a few cases, neither he nor any other human being can provide such a defense (friends, family members, sponsors, fellowship, doctors, counselors, priests, etc. are all logs). A.A. pg 43

Lack of power, that was our dilemma. we had to find a power by which we could live, and it had to be a Power greater than ourselves. Obviously. But where and how were we to find this Power? A.A. pg. 45

Faced with alcoholic (addictive) destruction, we soon became as open minded on spiritual matters as we had tried to be on other questions. In this respect alcohol (drugs) was a great persuader. It finally beat us into a state of reasonableness. Sometimes this was a tedious process; we hope no one else will prejudiced for as long as some of us were. A.A. pg 48

There is a Solution - a way out!

...we simply do not stop drinking so long as we place dependence upon other people ahead of dependence on God. Burn the idea into the consciousness of every man that he can get well regardless of anyone. The only condition is that he trust in God and clean house. A.A. pg 98

...our personal adventure before and after make clear three pertinent ideas:

1. That we were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives.
2. That probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism.
3. That God could and would if He were sought. A.A. pg 60

We needed to ask ourselves but one short question. Do I now believe, or am I even willing to believe, that there is a Power greater than myself? As soon as a man can say that he does believe, or is willing to believe, we emphatically assure him that he is on his way. It has been repeatedly proven among us that upon this simple cornerstone a wonderfully effective spiritual structure can be built. A.A. pg 47

What seemed at first a flimsy reed, has proved to be the loving and powerful hand of God. A new life has been given us or, if you prefer, "a design for living" that really works. A new life has been given us or, if you prefer, a design for living tht really works. AA, pg. 28

Thus was our friend's cornerstone fixed in place. No later vicissitude has shaken it. His alcoholic problem was taken away. That very night, years ago, it disappeared. Save for a few brief moments of temptation the though of drink has never returned; and at such times a great revulsion has risen up in him. Seemingly he could not drink (use) even if he would. God had restored his sanity.

What is this but a miracle of healing? Yet its elements are simple. Circumstances made him willing to believe. He humbly offered himself to his Maker then he knew.

Even so has God restored us all to our right minds. To this man, the revelation was sudden. Some of us grow into it more slowly. But He has come to all who have honestly sought Him.

When we drew near to Him He disclosed Himself to us! A.A. pg 57

What recovery "logs" have you tried but they failed to have the necessary power to recover?

by Scott G.

Highlighting different types of passages in different colours is an effective Big Book sponsorship strategy. As the newcomer reads their Big Book, it is their job to pay close attention to every word and passage and determine for themselves if what they are reading should be highlighted in one of the six (6) colors we use.

Having the newcomer be responsible for figuring out the coding forces them to "think" and to really comprehend the meaning of what they are reading and to be responsible for asking questions when they are unclear about something they are reading.

The job of the "teacher" or "sponsor" is to be fully present so as to "catch" those sections of the Big Book which the student may have missed.

In reality we are both students. Quite often the newcomer is teaching me sections they see should be highlighted that I never noticed. It is a dynamic process that requires both of us to be "present" to think and listen actively to each other.

As for the colors you use and their meaning, I honestly don't think it matters. Come up with your own color coding system that fits for you. Here is what I use today:

Green = Instructions

Highlight things you need to do to get the promises. Just remember green for go, or action.

Yellow = Prayers

Highlight suggested prayers. i.e. page 68, "We ask Him to remove our fear and direct our attention to what He would have us be".

Purple - Teaching others

Highlight specific references the Big Book makes to the importance of teaching others. However, when a specific reference to teaching others is also an instruction, that portion of the passage which is an instruction would be highlighted in green while the rest could be in purple. This color is used to help emphasize how import teaching this program to others is in their achieving permanent recovery. When a person knows they are responsible for teaching what they are learning, they listen and comprehend at a much higher level.

i.e. page xvi, "This seemed to prove that one alcoholic could affect another as no nonalcoholic could. It also indicated that strenuous work, one alcoholic with another, was vital to permanent recovery."

Pink = Positive Promises (Hint: Green + Yellow = Pink)

Highlight specific positive experiences you too will have if you do the work as outlined in the book.

Blue - When the book refers to itself

The Big Book itself is blue so that's the colour I use to mark those passages where the book is speaking about its purpose and objectives. This color is also used whenever the book references itself. i.e. "the subject presented in this book seems to me to be of paramount importance to those afflicted with alcoholic addiction".

These passages help the newcomer understand why we as teachers are so passionate about sharing the message that is contained in this book.

Orange = Pay close attention

Used at the students discretion to mark passages that are real "ah ha" moments for them, provided that the other colors aren't appropriate. Like the amber at a traffic light, these flag you to slow down and pay special attention.

An example of a highlighted Big Book (pages 62-63)

So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn't think so. Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness. We must, or it kill us! God makes that possible. And there often seems no way of entirely getting rid of self without His aid. Many of us had moral and philosophical convictions galore, but we could not live up to them even though we would have liked to. Neither could we reduce our self-centeredness much by wishing or trying on our own power. We had to have God's help.

This is the how and the why of it. First of all, we had to quit playing God. It didn't work. Next, we decided that hereafter in this drama of life, God was going to be our Director. He is the Principal; we are His agents. He is the Father, and we are His children. Most Good ideas are simple, and this concept was the keystone of the new and triumphant arch through which we passed to freedom.

When we sincerely took such a position, all sorts of remarkable things followed. We had a new Employer. Being all powerful, He provided what we needed, if we kept close to Him and performed His work well. Established on such a footing we became less and less interested in ourselves, our own little plans and designs. More and more we became interested in seeing what we could contribute to life. As we felt new power flow in, as we enjoyed peace of mind, as we discovered we could face life successfully, as we became conscious of His presence, we began to lose our fear of today, tomorrow or the hereafter. We were reborn.

We were now at Step Three. Many of us said to our Maker, as we understood Him: "God, I offer myself to Thee -- to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life. May I do Thy will always!" We thought well before taking this step making sure we were ready; that we could at last abandon ourselves utterly to Him.

We found it very desirable to take this spiritual step with an understanding person, such as our wife, best friend, or spiritual adviser. But it is better to meet God alone than with one who might misunderstand. The wording was, of course, quite optional so long as we expressed the idea, voicing it without reservation. This was only a beginning, though if honestly and humbly made, an effect, sometimes a very great one, was felt at once.

A way that works

This way of working with the Big Book has benefits and protects the integrity of the content.

1. It works with the original text with no changes.
2. Your book is clean (it became difficult to make sense out of one all mucked up).
3. You can find references you want easily.
4. You can focus on the kind of passage you need at the moment.

This is a good system that has helped a lot of addicts. I sincerely hope that it works for you and that, if it does, you can someday pass it on to someone else who may find that it works for them too.

Why I Colour Code the Big Book

by Scott G.

Recently, I was asked to provide an explanation of the colour coding process I use with newcomers working with the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous.

November 1999 - Fresh out of treatment

While I was in treatment in November 1999, one of my counselors told us that the recovery centre we were in had the best proven, statistical results for the treatment of alcoholism. BUT, he warned that if we happened to also be addicted to crack cocaine (which I was) then, statistically, we had less than a 1% chance of staying free from alcohol and drugs for even one year.

This news was not only eye opening, but to be blunt it scared the crap out of me. Even if I did everything the treatment centre said to do, what they were saying is that I would probably still relapse. I decided that in order to beat these odds, I would have to do MORE than what the treatment centre was telling us to do - something unconventional and different from what everyone else did.

In treatment we were told to go to AA meetings every day. In fact, they insisted that 90 meetings in 90 days was absolutely critical to recovery. Going to meetings was okay because it was an opportunity to be free of the strict rules and be out in the real world. But, on the whole, I found the meetings boring, an obligation I had to endure. Plus, it seemed that 12 step meetings were a place where people who were suffering got together and shared about their pain, which I found boring and sometimes depressing.

I saw what was wrong in everyone and everything, including myself and 12 step meetings. But I also need to be honest -- this is spiritually where I was at - at that time. I judged and criticized and blamed and complained about pretty much everything. I had severe victim mentality back then and needed to find fault in others as a way to avoid looking at the truth about my own life.

Cocaine Anonymous

One day I was talking to a fellow addict in treatment and he told me that he was going to a Cocaine Anonymous meeting. First of all, I didn't realize that we were allowed to go to meetings other than for AA. That Friday night I attended a meeting of Cocaine Anonymous. It was different and I will never forget it. There was so much passion in the air. This was no boring AA meeting - this was exciting!

My introduction to the Big Book

As each person in the meeting spoke, they declared that they had found a common solution to their addiction problems and that that solution was the text book Alcoholics Anonymous. A solution which they believed was "The Real" solution. They also shared a higher level of happiness and purpose than I had ever experienced in any 12 step meeting to date.

The person chairing the meeting had a glow in his eyes - he was happy on fire. He shared how he had repaired the damage he had done with his family by making amends and that he learned how because of the instruction in the Big Book.

He seemed to me to have so much wisdom I figured he must have been in recovery and sober for at least 10 years. So, I thought I'd talk to him after the meeting and maybe see about having him be my sponsor.

He was excited about wanting to help me so he showed me his copy of the Big Book. It was all mucked up with all kinds of circles and notes. It was hard to read or understand but it was clear that this guy studied it word for word like his life depended on it. And for him, he believed it did. Man, was this guy excited about the idea of teaching me what was taught to him.

When I asked him how much sober time he had, however, he told me was only about 60 days clean. I was in absolute shock. I was also confused - it just didn't make any sense. How can this guy with so little clean time be so much more energetic and happier than so many other people I'd met that had years of clean time under their belts? How could he have even more passion and purpose in his life than any of the seasoned professional counselors from the treatment centre I was at. And my counselors were "recovering" alcoholics themselves and some of them had more than 10 years sobriety.

Not only that, this guy claimed to be a recoverED -- not recoverING -- drug addict. Seasoned professionals with 10 years clean time still claimed to be recovering (that they were still sick), and yet this guy was 60 days and was claiming to be recovered (he was well). Now, because I was told that less than 1% of the people in treatment actually make it clean and sober for one year, I felt that, as amazing as this guy was, he did not have everything I was looking for in a sponsor. I figured the ideal sponsor for me would be a guy with at least one year of clean time so I asked for the guy who had sponsored him.

He pointed me to that guy. His name was Charlie. I went to Charlie and asked him if he would sponsor me but he wanted me to work with his the 60 day clean guy instead. I guess he felt his sponsee needed to be working with me for his own sobriety more than Charlie did, so Charlie told me he was too busy. But I was adamant, I told him I would wait till he was less busy and that I wanted him. With some hesitation, he gave me his home number and said I could call him. Totally excited that I had taken the next important step on my journey to recovery, I went back to my treatment centre on fire with more than just hope - with real passion that I had found the right path for me and thrilled that I now had a sponsor.

Meet The Muckers

Back at the centre, I went to my favorite counselor and told him all about what I have just told you. For the first time ever I saw my loving counselor got angry. He told me that these people I had met were members of a cult, that they were called muckers and that they had bastardized and distorted the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. He told me in no uncertain terms to stay away from them.

Because I was also addicted to approval seeking, and because I was worried about getting kicked out of treatment if I did not do as he wished, I led him to believe that I would stay away from them. I lied.

More often than not, when you tell an addict what to do, he/she will almost always do the opposite. Which was the case with me. My gut knew I had to investigate this and, if anything, I wanted to even more now that I was told not to. And while I was in my second week of treatment, a new guy came in that was real mangled up. He was medicated heavily in treatment with antipsychotic pills and he was often being accused of drinking alcohol when he went out to AA meetings while in treatment with us - but he never got caught.

I recognized him. I used to play squash with him regularly years earlier when I would play literally 3 games of squash 5 days a week to replace my drinking and depression. He was a famous recording studio engineer.

When I told him what the counselor had said about my experience, this guy looked at me with this piercing intensity and said not to listen to this counselor. He said he had been "mucked" years earlier and had "booked" or "mucked" all kinds of people and was sober for something like 10 years as a result of "booking" others.

He said that mucking gave him his life and when he stopped "booking" others he had relapsed so badly he was living on the streets now. As desperately as he wanted to stay sober, he just couldn't anymore.

Kevin told me that, not only should I get mucked by Charlie (he knew who Charlie was), that there was a fellowship called the muckers and they had a weekly meeting. He said I should go to this meeting and ask for a guy by the name of Don who was the founder and a guy with more experience than anyone taking people through the steps this way.

I spoke to Charlie when I was still in treatment and he agreed to book me when treatment ended. Two days after treatment, I met with Charlie in a coffee shop and was taught the 12 steps. I studied them to the "best" of my ability but as far as living them goes, I made few amends and still and still saw myself as a victim. Having said that, the experience was amazing! I then tried to "sell" other people into getting "booked" - and ideally by me - but I guess people could feel my desperation and didn't want what I had since I was not fully recovered. I was still angry and unhappy so I found out where the muckers meeting was and I went. I found Don and I asked him if he would book me because I was still messed up. He did a "tune-up" of 3 mini sessions and I went to his Thursday night muckers meeting religiously. It was the highlight of my recovery.

Obsessed with Booking

After about 18 months sober, I finally got to book my first guy and it was amazing! I started getting addicted to booking people. I would book or teach others and get off on the feeling of superiority I would temporarily get from "saving" a newcomer. I went to 12 meetings for the purpose of finding more people to work with. I was staying sober and, occasionally, some of the people I would work with stayed sober and went on to help others too. And boy was that exciting - to duplicate yourself and know that you are leaving a legacy.

Eventually I was sponsoring so many people that I was looked at as a cult leader - sometimes 3-4 people per day for 2-3 hour sessions back to back - then I'd rush over to another 12 step meeting to find new recruits.

Intolerance and controversy

Mucking the Big Book as a method for recovery was controversial. Looking back I think it was because I had an attitude of intolerance of other peoples' views. Our Big Book states on page 19 that "real tolerance of other people's shortcomings and viewpoints and a respect for their opinions are attitudes which make us more useful to others." During one period when I was working with an even unusually high number of people (even for me) I started to notice that the newcomers I was working with were getting flack from others about the fact that I was their sponsor. Many of them would actually tell me how people with substantial clean time were telling them to stay away from me - that I was a lunatic. As much as I was obsessed about booking , I cared deeply about addicts - particularly the ones I was working with because I was so emotionally invested. The people I was working with were raw and vulnerable and didn't deserve to be attacked because of the controversy I had caused. They had enough on their plates.

The book states on page 19, "Nothing would please us so much as to write a book which would contain no basis for contention or argument."

I knew that the Big Book was powerful but I also knew that as soon as anyone had any circles and lots of notes in their Big Book, they would be labeled a mucker and would be ostracized by some members of their respected 12 step fellowship.

People said the Big Book was whole and complete and required no interpreting. The Big Book even states, "there is a sentiment against any radical changes being made to this book". Many perceived that we were radically changing the book by adding our opinions and conceptions to it. The Big Book says on page 77, "Our real purpose is to fit ourselves to be of maximum service to God and the people about us". So I figured it would be serving the people about us (the addicts I was working with) if I could help them avoid having to endure controversy and argument.

New system but same obsession

What came to me was that I needed to stay true to my working the Big Book one-on-one but re-invent a new way of doing it that would be at least if not more powerful than what I was already doing - and do it in such a way as to protect the newcomer from being labeled a "booker" or "mucker" - not that there is anything wrong with being a booker or mucker! My thought was also to keep the message of the Big Book clean and pure and to have it look that way too. So, I came up with the idea of using coloured highlighters to highlight and emphasize the words in the book rather than mucking the Big Book up with my notes and interpretations. It worked. It wasn't the only way, a better way, or the best way - it was simply a way.

A fundamental change

I still use the highlighting process and I know it helps a lot of people. But the fact is, it's not the only path to recovery. It's merely one way of working a Big Book program.

Scott G. is the founder of All Addictions Anonymous. He is also a keynote speaker who works primarily with high-school students across North America. In his program, "The Power of Choice", Scott helps teenagers break free of destructive habits and addictions.

I other day I was at a meeting when I heard someone say, "I not working with anyone. I need to work on me. I need to take care my sobriety, my health, my needs, afterall this is a selfish program."

But what does our Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous say about that?

Page 20, paragraph 1:

"Our very lives, as ex-problem drinkers depend upon our constant thought of others and how we may help meet their needs."

Page 97, paragraph 2:

"Helping others is the foundation stone of your recovery. A kindly act once in a while isn't enough. You have to act the Good Samaritan every day, if need be. It may mean the loss of many nights' sleep, great interference with your pleasures, interruptions to your business. It may mean sharing your money and your home, counseling frantic wives and relatives, innumerable trips to police courts, sanitariums, hospitals, jails and asylums. Your telephone may jangle at any time of the day or night. "

Page 14-15:

"For if an alcoholic failed to perfect and enlarge his spiritual life through work and self-sacrifice for others, he could not survive the certain trials and low spots ahead."

Page 62, paragraph 2:

"Selfishness, self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles."

Page 62, paragraph 3:

"So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn't think so. Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness. We must, or it kill us!"

I always remember when I hear someone say, "This a selfish program", the words from the Joe and Charlie steps series:

"When I take care of God's business, God takes care of me."

For years I tried to stay sober and clean on my will power and my need to stop and could not. It was not until I started putting the needs of others ahead my own that things changed. When I focus my energy on helping the other person stay sober, God takes care of my sobriety. It took a tremendous leap of faith to practice this principle but, for many years now this has been my experience.

CF

Suggestions and Guidelines

Introduction

Eleventh Step Guidance Meetings are for "anyone or everyone interested in a spiritual way of life." They are NOT Open Discussion meetings. We share only what we have written during a ten minute "quiet time."

We are here to listen to the voice of the "One who has all power" to free us from our addictions; we are not here to talk about or feed our addictions.

"We advocate the use of a pencil and note-book so that we may record every God-given though and idea that comes to us during our time alone with Him (our Higher Power), that no detail, however small, my be lost to us and that we may not shirk the truth about ourselves or any problem when it comes to us." (What is the Oxford Group?, p. 68)

If the "One who has all Power" is going to supply us with the "right answers," wouldn't it be a good idea to jot down thoughts, images, or feelings we receive so we can remember them?.

Procedure for "Listening"

• Be quiet and still.
• Relax.
• Listen.
• Write down the thoughts that come.

Test each thought using the Four Standards of Honesty, Purity, Unselfishness and Love to separate the God thoughts from the self-thoughts.

Share the guidance that you believe passes the "test" with the other members of the group.

We share what we have written to demonstrate that God does "disclose Himself to us" and because sometimes the guidance we receive isn't for us but for someone else in the room.

Guidelines for the Guidance Meeting

• Please identify yourself by your first name only. Do not identify yourself in terms of any addiction or affliction.
• No cross talk.
• Do not critique or comment on anyone else's guidance.
• If you haven't written anything down or captured any thoughts on your fingertips, please "pass."

The typical guidance meeting has 8-14 attendees. Because there is no time limit, the size of the group is important. The meeting ends when everyone has had the opportunity to share his or her guidance.

If the meeting consistently lasts more than an hour, you can split into two smaller groups to facilitate sharing.

Eleventh Step Guidance Meeting "Big Book" Format

Good (morning) (afternoon) (evening) my name is ____________ and I will be your facilitator for this Eleventh Step Guidance Meeting.

Please help me open this meeting with a moment of silence followed by the Serenity Prayer.

(Serenity Prayer)

I have asked ___________ to read a portion of the "Big Book" on prayer and meditation:

(Read pages 86-88 from the "Big Book.")

We have a 7th Tradition. There are no dues or fees for membership. We are fully self-supporting through our own voluntary contributions. Our needs are simple, a place to hold our meeting and literature to help carry the message.

(Pass the basket)

We will now take a ten-minute "quiet time" for the purpose of making contact with the "Spirit of the Universe" and receive guidance right now.

(Ten-minute "quiet time")

Now, we will go around the room asking that you share only what you have written without embellishment or explanation. If you haven't written anything down, please "pass."

(If a person starts to explain his or her guidance or starts talking about whatever is on his or her mind, please direct the person back to sharing guidance by saying something like, "I'm sorry to interrupt, but I must ask you to share only what you've written down during your 'quiet time.' Thank you.")

(After everyone has had the opportunity to share...)

Is there anyone who heard something during the sharing session that he or she feels was directed towards them in addition to the person who shared it? If so, please tell the group, without identifying the person from whom you received the guidance, what it was that you heard. This is three-way prayer-God speaking to us through others. If this has happened to you, please raise your hand.

(Have those who raise their hands share their examples of three-way prayer.)

I would like to thank each of you for participating. Whether you shared guidance or listened to others share their guidance, you have taken Step Eleven.

Remember, we recover by the steps we take, not the meetings we make! We will close this meeting with the...

Directions for Prayer and Meditation "Big Book" pp. 85-88

Step Eleven suggests prayer and meditation. We shouldn't be shy on this matter of prayer. Better men than we are using it constantly. It works, if we have the proper attitude and work at it. It would be easy to be vague about this matter. Yet, we believe we can make some definite and valuable suggestions.

When we retire at night, we constructively review our day. Were we resentful, selfish, dishonest or afraid? Do we owe an apology? Have we kept something to ourselves which should be discussed with another person at once? Were we kind and loving toward all? What could we have done better? Were we thinking of ourselves most of the time? Or were we thinking of what we could do for others, of what we could pack into the stream of life? But we must be careful not to drift into worry, remorse or morbid reflection, for that would diminish our usefulness to others. After making our review we ask God's forgiveness and inquire what corrective mea-sures should be taken.

On awakening let us think about the twenty-four hours ahead. We consider our plans for the day. Before we begin, we ask God to direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives. Under these conditions we can employ our mental faculties with assurance, for after all God gave us brains to use. Our thought-life will be placed on a much higher plane when our thinking is cleared of wrong motives.

In thinking about our day we may face indecision. We may not be able to determine which course to take. Here we ask God for inspiration, an intuitive thought or a decision. We relax and take it easy. We don't struggle. We are often surprised how the right answers come after we have tried this for a while. What used to be the hunch or the occasional inspiration gradually becomes a working part of the mind. Being still inexperienced and having just made conscious contact with God, it is not probable that we are going to be inspired at all times. We might pay for this presumption in all sorts of absurd actions and ideas. Nevertheless, we find that our thinking will, as time passes, be more and more on the plane of inspiration. We come to rely upon it.

We alcoholics are undisciplined. So we let God discipline us in the simple way we have just outlined.

But this is not all. There is action and more action. "Faith without works is dead."

Test for Self-will / God's Will

Fourth Step Test

• Selfish -- Unselfish
• Dishonest -- Honesty
• Self-seeking -- Purity
• Frightened -- Love

"Where had we been selfish, dishonest, self-seeking and frightened?"(Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 67, para. 2, lines 3-4)

Tenth Step Test

• Selfishness -- Unselfishness
• Dishonesty -- Honesty
• Resentment -- Purity
• Fear -- Love

"Continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear."(Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 84, para. 2, lines 8-9)

Eleventh Step Test

• Resentful -- Purity
• Selfish -- Unselfish
• Dishonest -- Honest
• Afraid -- Love

"Were we resentful, selfish, dishonest or afraid? (Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 86, para. 1, lines 2-3)

Editor's Note: Our format quotes extensively from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous (4th Edition), our basic text for recovery. Our notes, commentary, and gender-neutral changes are formatted in italics.

How to take a 5 column Inventory

Next we launched out on a course of vigorous action, the first step of which is a personal housecleaning, which many of us had never attempted. Though our decision was vital and crucial step, it could have little permanent effect unless at once (fast) followed by a strenuous effort to face, and to be rid of, the things in ourselves which had been blocking us. Our liquor (drugs, obsessive-compulsive behaviour) was but a symptom. So we had to get down to causes and conditions. Therefore, we started upon a personal inventory. This was Step Four...We took stock honestly. First, we searched out the flaws in our make-up which caused our failure. Being convinced that self, manifested in various ways, was what had defeated us, we considered its common manifestations. (p. 63-64, A.A. 4th Edition)

Resentment is the "number one" offender. It destroys more alcoholics (addicts) than anything else. From it stem all forms of spiritual disease, (pride, jealousy, envy, selfishness, dishonesty, greed, sloth, lust, hate, etc.) for we have been not only mentally and physically ill, we have been spiritually sick. When the spiritual malady is overcome, we straighten out mentally and physically. In dealing with resentments, we set them on paper. We listed people, institutions or principles with who we were angry (Column 1). We asked ourselves why we were angry (Column 2). In most cases it was found that our self-esteem, our pocketbooks, our ambitions, our personal relationships, (including sex) were hurt or threatened. So we were sore. We were "burned up." On our grudge list we set opposite each name our injuries. Was it our self-esteem, our security, our ambitions, our personal, or sex relations, which had been interfered with? (Column 3) (p. 64-65, A.A. 4th Edition)

We went back through our lives. Nothing counted but thoroughness and honesty. When we were finished we considered it carefully. The first thing apparent was that this world and its people were often quite wrong. To conclude that others were wrong was as far as most of us ever got. (p. 65-66 A.A. 4th Edition)

Referring to our list again. Putting out of our minds the wrongs others had done, we resolutely looked for our own mistakes (Column 4). Where had we been selfish, dishonest, self-seeking and frightened? Though a situation had not been entirely our fault, we tried to disregard the other person involved entirely. Where were we to blame? (Column 4) The inventory was ours, not the other man's. When we saw our faults we listed them (Column 4). We placed them before us in black and white. We admitted our wrongs honestly and were willing to set these matters straight. (p. 67 A.A. 4th Edition)

We reviewed our fears thoroughly (Column 1). We put them on paper, even though we had no resentment in connection with them. We asked ourselves why we had them (Column 2). (p. 67-68 A.A. 4th Edition)

Now about sex. Many of needed an overhauling there. But above all, we tried to be sensible on this question...What can we do about them?...We reviewed our own conduct over the years past. Where had we been selfish, dishonest, or inconsiderate? Whom had we hurt? (Column 1) Did we unjustifiably arouse jealousy, suspicion or bitterness? (Column 2) Where were we at fault (Column 4), what should we have done instead? (Column 5) We got this all down on paper and looked at it. (p. 68-69 A.A. 4th Edition)

Step 4 Instruction

If we have been thorough about our personal inventory, we have written down a lot. We have listed and analyzed our resentments (all 5 Columns). We have begun to comprehend their futility and their fatality. We have commenced to see their terrible destructiveness....We have listed the people (Column 1) we have hurt by our conduct (Column 4), and are willing to straighten out the past if we can... If you have already made a decision, and an inventory of your grosser handicaps, you have made a good beginning. That being so you have swallowed and digested some big chunks of truth about yourself. (p. 70-71 A.A. 4th Edition)

Keep in mind that it is not necessary, for newcomers to talk about every resentment or selfish act, or each person he or she has ever lied to or harmed for the inventory to be thorough. The objective is to get to "causes and conditions". Sometimes it takes only a few incidents to make clear which short-comings have kept the newcomer blocked from an intimate, two-way relationship with the "One who has all power."

We were usually as definite as this example: (p. 65, A.A. 4th Edition)

There are many different approaches to taking a Step Four inventory. What approaches have you experienced?

Being convinced we were alcoholic/addict and could not manage our own lives; that probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism/addiction; and that God could and would if he were sought; we found ourselves at Step Three which is that we decided to turn our will and our life over to God as we understood Him. Just what do we mean by that, and just what do we do? (p. 60 A.A. Big Book)

In the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous on pages 60 to 63 it describes an alcoholics'/addicts' life as unmanageable -- that an ego-centric life is hardly a success. The diagram below illustrates the direction of my life based on my decision to choose my will versus God's will.

The human mind works in a straight-forward manner - as I think, so will I feel, so will I behave and act out. If you want to change your behaviour, then change the way you feel. If you want to change your feelings, then change your thinking. This is basic psychology-101. However, if it were this simple, alcoholics and addicts everywhere would have changed their behaviour long ago and recovered but, as many of us have discovered we could not do this even though "many of us had moral and philosophical convictions galore". (p. 62 A.A. BB) What the therapists and treatment center counsellors fail to understand or convey to the hopeless alcoholic/addict is that our minds suffer from a spiritual malady and until we take direction from a higher power, our own thinking or the human management of others fails to have the necessary power to separate us from our obsession to drink, use or act-out.

God makes that possible. And there often seems no way of entirely getting rid of self without His aid...Neither could we reduce our self-centeredness much by wishing or trying on our own power. We had to have God's help. (p. 62 A.A. BB)

This is the how and the why of it. First of all, we had to quit playing God. It didn't work...When we sincerely took such a position, all sorts of remarkable things followed. We had a new Employer. Being all powerful, He provided what we needed, if we kept close to Him and performed His work well...We were reborn. (pp. 62-63 A.A. BB)

Each morning, we can turn our will and our lives over to God as we understand Him. Our Big Book authors give us a simple prayer to commune with our High Power and seek the direction that separates us from the desire to drink, use or act out.

Many of us said to our Maker, as we understood Him: "God, I offer myself to Thee -- to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life. May I do Thy will always!" (p. 63 A.A. BB)

Here are thousands of men and women, worldly indeed. They flatly declare that since they have come to believe in a Power greater than themselves, to take a certain attitude toward that Power, and to do certain simple things. There has been a revolutionary change in their way of living and thinking. In the face of collapse and despair, in the face of the total failure of their human resources, they found that a new power, peace, happiness, and sense of direction flowed into them. This happened soon after they wholeheartedly met a few simple requirements. (p. 50 A.A. BB)

Tell us about your experience with Step Three.

"Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path."
(pg. 64, A.A. 4th Ed.)

The 12 Step program is a recipe for recovery. If we follow the directions thoroughly, as outlined in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, our Basic recovery text, we can recover like the hundreds of thousands alcoholics/addicts before us.

It is like baking a chocolate cake. If you follow the recipe exactly, you will make a chocolate cake. There is no doubt about it. You don't even have to believe you are going to make a cake, you will make a cake regardless of what you believe.

But what happens when we leave something out of the recipe such as baking powder? The cake will not rise. What happens if we leave the sugar out? It will not taste very good. What happens if we forget to bake it? Leave enough of the ingredients and steps out of the recipe and in the end it will not even look like a cake, just a batch of goop.

Dr. Bob was once asked, "what is the most important step?" He replied, "think of the 12 steps as the 12 spokes of a wheel. Take one spoke out and the wheel will continue to turn, but it has been weakened. Removal of another spoke and you further weaken the wheel. Remove enough spokes and the wheel will eventually collapse. So it is with our 12 Step program. Removal of any of the steps will eventually result in a collapse."

Of alcoholics who came to A.A. and really tried, 50% got sober at once and remained that way; 25% sobered up after some relapses, and among the remainder, those who stayed on with A.A. showed improvement. Other thousands came to a few A.A. meetings and at first decided they didn't want the program. But great numbers of these--about two out of three--began to return as time passed. (pg. xx, A.A. 4th Ed.)

If we thoroughly follow the 12 Step recipe, we can recover. We don't even have to believe, just be willing to believe and we can recover from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body.

How many times have you heard in the meeting rooms these "suggestions" or slogans:

• "Think through the drink"
• "Remember When"
• "Remember your last drunk"
• "Think, Think, Think"
• "Play the tape all the way through"

Given out as strategies to ward off any possibility of a relapse or slip - a mental defense against the first drink, drug, bet, or behavioural act, these so called "mini-steps" lack the necessary power for "real" addicts or alcoholics to stay clean and sober.

Our A.A. Big Book cautions us against such "strategies"...

Page 37, paragraph 1 (referring to Jim's "mental blank spot" story),

"Whatever the precise definition of the word may be, we call this plain insanity. How can such a lack of proportion, of the ability to think straight, be called anything else?

You may think this an extreme case. To us it is not far-fetched, for this kind of thinking has been characteristic of every single one of us. We have sometimes reflected more than Jim did upon the consequences. But there was always the curious mental phenomenon that parallel with our sound reasoning there inevitably ran some insanely trivial excuse for taking the first drink. Our sound reasoning failed to hold us in check. The insane idea won out. Next day we would ask ourselves, in all earnestness and sincerity, how it could have happened."

Further on, Page 42 it says:

"As soon as I regained my ability to think, I went carefully over that evening in Washington. Not only had I been off guard, I had made no fight whatever against the first drink. This time I had not thought of the consequences at all. I had commenced to drink as carelessly as thought the cocktails were ginger ale. I now remembered what my alcoholic friends had told me, how they prophesied that if I had an alcoholic mind, the time and place would come I would drink again. They had said that though I did raise a defense, it would one day give way before some trivial reason for having a drink. Well, just that did happen and more, for what I had learned of alcoholism did not occur to me at all. I knew from that moment that I had an alcoholic mind. I saw that will power and self- knowledge would not help in those strange mental blank spots. I had never been able to understand people who said that a problem had them hopelessly defeated. I knew then. It was the crushing blow."

On Page 43, paragraph 4:

"Once more: The alcoholic at certain times has no effective mental defense against the first drink. Except in a few rare cases, neither he nor any other human being can provide such a defense. His defense must come from a Higher Power."

Also on Page 24, paragraph 2 and 3:

"We are unable at certain times to bring into our consciousness with sufficient forece the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago."

"The almost certain consequences that follow taking even a glass of beer do not crowd into the mind to deter us. If these thoughts do occur, they are hazy and readily supplanted with the old threadbare idea that this time we shall handle ourselves like other people. There is a complete failure of the kind of defense that keeps one from putting his hand on a hot stove."

Are these strategies really effective? Have they proven effective for you? Let us know about your experiences and how you have over-come that "stinkin thinkin" obsession of the mind.

If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking (using or acting out in a obsessive-compulsive manner), you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic (addict). If that be the case, you may be suffering from an illness which only a spiritual experience will conquer. (p. 44, A.A. 4th Edition)

If you are a 'real' alcoholic or addict and if only a 'spiritual experience' will conquer your affliction, then is not important to know what a spiritual experience is, how to achieve it, and and most importantly, how to recognize it when you have it.

What is a spiritual experience?

The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, (pg. 567-568, 4th Edition) defines spiritual experience as:

• "...the personality change sufficient to bring about recovery from alcoholism (addiction) has manifested itself among us in many different forms."
• "...a profound alteration in his reaction to life; that such a change could hardly have been brought about by himself alone.
• "...our members find that they have tapped an unsuspected inner resource which they presently identify with their own conception of a Power greater than themselves. Most of us think this awareness of a Power greater than ourselves is the essence of spiritual experience."

How do we achieve a spiritual experience?

By taking the 12 steps as directed in the first 103 pages of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous.

Well, that's exactly what this book is about. Its main object is to enable you to find a Power greater than yourself which will solve your problem. That means we have written a book which we believe to be spiritual as well as moral. And it means, of course, that we are going to talk about God. (p. 45, A.A. 4th Edition)

Much to our relief, we discovered we did not need to consider another's conception of God. Our own conception, however inadequate, was sufficient to make the approach and to effect a contact with Him. As soon as we admitted the possible existence of a Creative Intelligence, a Spirit of the Universe underlying the totality of things, we began to be possessed of a new sense of power and direction, provided we took other simple steps. We found that God does not make too hard terms with those who seek Him. To us, the Realm of Spirit is broad, roomy, all inclusive; never exclusive or forbidding to those who earnestly seek. It is open, we believe, to all men.(p. 46, A.A. 4th Edition)

What does a spiritual experience look like?

Epistemology or theory of knowledge is the branch of philosophy that studies the nature, methods, limitations, and validity of knowledge and belief. (From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia)

"As we understood him" -- which means when I speak about God, I am really referring to my own experience, which is all I know -- it has been revealed to me individually. It is like explaining sex to a virgin. If you have not had sex, you might understand it intellectually, you may have even watched a movie about it, but the personal experience in unknown--it is alien. But once you have had sex, you now have recognizable benchmarks to identify the experience. The same holds true for identifying what a relationship with God or the Higher Power is like.

The Big Book authors, men and women who have recovered from a seamingly hopeless state of mind and body, all who have claimed having a spiritual experience or awakening, describe it as:

Established on such a footing (Step 3) we became less and less interested in ourselves, our own little plans and designs. More and more we became interested in seeing what we could contribute to life. As we felt new power flow in, as we enjoyed peace of mind, as we discovered we could face life successfully, as we became conscious of His presence, we began to lose our fear of today, tomorrow or the hereafter. We were reborn. (p. 63, A.A. 4th Edition)

Once we have taken this step (5), withholding nothing, we are delighted. We can look the world in the eye. We can be alone at perfect peace and ease. Our fears fall from us. We begin to feel the nearness of our Creator. We may have had certain spiritual beliefs, but now we begin to have a spiritual experience. The feeling that the drink problem has disappeared will often come strongly. We feel we are on the Broad Highway, walking hand in hand with the Spirit of the Universe. (p. 75, A.A. 4th Edition)

If we are painstaking about this phase of our development (Step 9), we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves. (p. 83-84, A.A. 4th Edition)

Love and tolerance of others is our code. And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone, even alcohol. For by this time sanity will have returned. We will seldom be interested in liquor. If tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot flame. We react sanely and normally, and we will find that this has happened automatically. We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us without any thought or effort on our part. It just comes! That is the miracle of it. We are not fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptation. We feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality safe and protected. We have not even sworn off. Instead, the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us. We are neither cocky nor are we afraid. That is how we react so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition. (p. 84-85, A.A. 4th Edition)

According to the Big Book authors, these are the recognizable benchmarks that tell us we are having a spiritual experience or awakening.

Tell us about your experience with the a 'Spirit of the Universe underlying the totality of things'. How do you know you are having a spiritual experience or awakening? Does it look like what the Big Book authors tell us or is it something different?