A.A. Grapevine, July 1945, Vol. 2 No. 2

Editorial: On the 9th Step...

"Made direct amends to such people wherever possible except when to do so would injure them or others."

Like others of the Steps, Number Nine is closely related to Number Three --"to turn our will and our lives over to God as we understood Him." If we have accomplished this step to any measurable degree, we have attained at least a small measure of humility and a realization of our dependence on Him.

Having prepared a list of all people we have harmed and brought ourselves to the point where we are willing to make amends to them, our Ninth Step is one calling for positive action. There is a world of difference between being willing to do a thing and actually doing it. How many times in the pre-A.A. state have we said "I am sorry, I won't do it again" and felt that that constituted complete amends.

A sincere apology, with a true explanation to the person harmed, of what we believe to be the reason for our past actions can quite frequently readjust personal relations --but the A.A. realizes that this cannot take care of the ones we have really hurt and invariably these are the ones we should and do love most.

Most of us had at least a few years of real pathological drinking behind us when we first learned of the Twelve Steps. Those terrible years are the ones that become repulsive to us as we progress in our new-found life program for order and happiness--years in which our every action was influenced by alcoholic thinking, with all its implications. It naturally follows that whatever our state in life may be, those close to us bore the brunt of our outrageous behaviour. How can one make amends to a dear wife, son or daughter or parent who through no fault of their own truly suffered physically and financially and more important, mentally, the humiliation and embarrassment of going through life with a drunkard? A simple "I am sorry; it won't happen again" is not enough. It is not enough for us and it is not enough for the aggrieved person.

Direct amends, by all means, is a must, in restoring physical property to the rightful owner, paying debts willingly within our ability to do so and retracting the lie that hurt a reputation; but the real amends are made in scrutinizing our day-in and day-out conduct and keeping that conduct "on the beam." The loved ones whom we have hurt don't want their "pound of flesh." Whether they are still in daily contact with us or not, amends are best made to them by restoring the love and confidence and respect they once had for us by the action of right living. With that thought clearly in our minds that "first drink" is an improbability, even an impossibility and the well-rounded, good life we all yearn for becomes readily visible to us.

B. H.
Forest Hills, New York

A.A. Grapevine, June 1945, Vol. 2 No. 1

Editorial: On the 8th Step . . .

"Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

It was characteristic of many of us as alcoholics to at least attempt to perform in the grandiose manner. And in harming others we usually succeeded magnificently. So, to say that the first phase of the Eighth Step is a large order is to indulge in understatement which matches our bombastic style.

And yet, however extended be the list of those we have harmed, the fulfillment of this step's admonition need not be a tedious nor a burdensome undertaking. In the first place, let's examine the meaning of the verb: Amend.

Webster's New International Dictionary defines it thus --"To make better, especially in character; to repair, restore; to free from faults, put right, correct, rectify. . ."

There is the credo to which we of A.A. subscribe; the goal we hope to achieve through sobriety. It is both the manifestation of our adherence to the other 11 Steps and our performance of the Eighth itself.

The definition continues:

". . . to change or modify in any way for the better; to recover from illness."

It was written for us!

We have often heard that our sobriety should be founded on "unselfish selfishness", that we should strive to avoid a lapse into drinking for the benefits we, personally, derive from abstinence. It's not sound, we have been told, to try to stay dry for the sake of a wife or a sweetheart or someone else dear to us.

When we first heard that plan of action outlined, we revolted mildly because it didn't seem to meet the specifications of true altruism. Many of us, as we entered A.A., still yearned for that mystic power to "handle" alcohol and it seemed then that the step we were taking was at least in part --a gesture of devotion to some loved one. Without altruism there didn't seem to be much motive to propel us.

Of course, we soon discovered that "unselfish selfishness" was the firmest foundation for our recovery. We found, in the same way, that we try to help others, not solely through altruistic impulse, but so that we may gain strength.

The principle of "unselfish selfishness" is applicable again in the Eighth Step. We seek to identify all those we have harmed and we assume a willingness to make amends so that --recalling the definition of the word --we may "change . . . for the better" and "recover from illness."

The alternative is retrogression. If we fail to "repair", we can only impair.

L. J.

A.A. Grapevine, May 1945, Vol. 1 No. 12

Editorial: On the 7th Step

"Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings."

We all know that it is God's will that we live clean, wholesome lives; that we think clearly and become persons of honest decision. This we know we cannot do until we become our real selves, so, in desperation, we alcoholics revert to prayer. We humbly ask God to remove our shortcomings; to restore us to our natural selves, so that we may think clearly on our problems.

Emerson says, "None will ever solve the problem of his character according to our prejudice, but only in his own high unprecedented way."

Character is undoubtedly accumulative, and in removing shortcomings it stands to reason that we are striving to build character. This can be done by observing our errors, and, one at a time, correcting them on the spot.

We have already accepted this "Power greater than ourselves" as a reality. Something to which we can pray, expecting to receive help. So now we ask for courage to look at our shortcomings honestly. To recognize them for what they really are, and not what we might wish them to be.

What are some of our shortcomings? Let us list just a few: 1. Excessive drinking. 2. Resenting help. 3. Resenting the good fortune of others. 4. Defending ourselves when we know we are in the wrong. 5. Jealousy and envy of all kinds. 6. Shunning responsibility.

Through the grace of God we have found A.A., which teaches us that we are sick people and that alcohol in any form or amount is out. So we stop drinking. That takes care of our number one problem.

We must be willing to accept help of all kinds without resentment. This takes a little time, as we are the world's most sensitive persons. We know too well that we have neglected all of our talents and abilities for alcohol, and we have terribly guilty feelings, made more acute by persons who are already in better circumstances than we are. Nevertheless, we learn to suffer our hurt feelings and start building a constructive, happy life.

Defending what we call our "pride" is one of the most difficult shortcomings to remove. Many of us have thought of pride as something virtuous, something to be honored. Well, what have we left, we who are humbly seeking help, that we can put on exhibition as virtue? Often we cannot actually put our finger on anything in our make-up of which we are really proud. So we break down our false pride, and exchange it for humility.

The most beautiful art in the world is simple, with few lines, little fuss and complications. So we try being simple for a change. Just plain honest simplicity. We look for the best in our fellow man, "Pardon the wrong in him; hark to the song in him."

By accepting God's help, we learn to think clearly; to play fairly; and to give generously.

Elizabeth W.
Boston, Massachusetts